I Will Never Be the Same

Have you ever had a moment in life, when you knew from the core of your very being that you would never be the same?

That you were forever changed by what you felt, saw, or experienced?

Those are moments I like to call "pivotal moments". When they happen, there is no denying the impact it has on you, whether internal or external. I remember such an experience so clearly…
One of my dearest friends had been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was about 4 years ago now, but it seems like yesterday that I was walking into Trader Joe's to do a little shopping and she called me.
I sat on the bench outside of the market and listened as she explained that she had found a small lump in her breast, had it checked out and sure enough it was cancer. She sounded so detached and matter of fact. I think she was in shock, and I know I couldn't believe it. Cancer had woven its way into my circle of friends…well as she made decisions for herself, her body, her health, her family…the bravery and courage she displayed was phenomenal. She gave herself every opportunity to thrive and survive!  Her faith and her perseverance were inspiring to say the least. The love and respect I already felt for this amazing woman seemed to multiply with every step she took. All i could really do is pray, hug, listen, laugh and cry to be a support to her.  Before her surgery a group of us friends and husbands took a road trip up to see our pastor, who lived a couple hours away. He and his wife had been our pastors for many years, but no longer had a church in our area.We all had first hand seen and felt the power and presence of God they carried.. it was undeniable.  She decided that before her major surgery and treatment started she wanted them to pray for her.  As her support team of family and friends all traveled up with her we were filled with expectancy and hope! There was something taking place that none of us had ever experienced before, bonds were being formed, selfishness and ulterior motives had no room to flourish. All that mattered was getting our dear friend into the power of God released by this man and his wife for one more time, one prayer, one touch….never had life felt more precious.  As we gathered into that tiny little church and filled the chairs with our expectant hearts, the atmosphere became charged.  The power of God was so intensely present and real to each of us. It was such an experience for everyone in that place.  As we drove home that day a feeling came over me  and I said out loud…"I feel like I'm never going to be the same". Something inside me changed, it pivoted, it shifted and I knew then and there, God had changed the course of my life. If even one degree, in the long run, that experience will never leave me... that feeling, that moment. It will forever be embedded in my heart.

Within a month after that, my mom passed away suddenly. It was and still is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Amazingly enough, that group of women who had formed such a special bond, they were right by my side. Supporting, praying, just being there for me. My dear fighting friend showed up to my moms funeral with drains in her wounds from the double mastectomy she had just undergone a week before…the moment when life tells you, you will never be the same…